


Aussie Dropbears

by Traw



Category: The Streets of San Francisco
Genre: Angst, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22398307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Traw/pseuds/Traw
Summary: Steve jumped as an open glass jar stuffed full of five- and ten-dollar bills suddenly appeared between himself and his typewriter . This story is dedicated to everyone and all the animals affected by the Australian bushfires. Sometimes all we have is our humor to help us through our darkest days.





	Aussie Dropbears

**Author's Note:**

> This story is dedicated to all the fantastic firey’s, not only our Aussie rural firefighters who are doing a job they are not even paid for, but also all the firefighters who have come across the globe who risk their lives to help and protect other people and their homes. These men and women are all quiet true blue heroes.  
> This story is also dedicated to all the Aussies who have been impacted by our bushfires, the thirty-one victims, including the Aussie and the American firefighter heroes, and all the millions of wildlife who have lost their lives and to all those who have been injured.

Steve jumped as an open glass jar stuffed full of five- and ten-dollar bills suddenly appeared between himself and his typewriter and he looked up in confusion into the grinning face of Alan ‘Shorty’ Hamilton. The Australian homicide inspector had joined the team less than a year before and had immediately introduced himself as ‘Shorty’ before quickly explaining to his confused and bewildered new colleagues to everyone his nickname was not because he was short, no, far from it, he was given his nickname _because_ he was so tall. The man stood well over six-foot-tall and he proudly wore his nickname like a badge, a tiny piece of home that he carried with him every day. Looking back down at what he assumed was some sort of collection jar full of money that Shorty was holding in front of him, Steve frowned before he looked back at the Australian and asked, “Is there someone retiring that I don’t know about?”

“No, Mate, I’m collecting for the rural fireys back home who are volunteers and are doing their best battlin’ the bushfires and not getting payed, those guys are true blue Aussie heroes, and for the poor buggars who have lost everything in the fires, some even have family members who have lost their lives and have only escaped the deadly flames with just the clothes on their backs. The fires have already burnt millions of acres and are still burning. And since I’m not home to lend a hand, I’m doing the next best thing I can think of.” Shorty told him as the grin momentarily slipped from his face, replaced by a flash of the heartache, fear and the love he felt for the land he called home that was being devastated by fires, before a forced smile re-appeared and he shook the collection jar in front of Steve’s face. “So, come on, Stevo, my ol’ mate, why don’t ya get out your wallet and give me a hand, even a dollar bill will do, any little bit helps. Ohh, I should also add that I am also collecting for our wild animals that are going to need our help recovering from this and that includes our most dangerous animal, dropbears.”

“Dropbears?” Steve’s frown deepened as he glanced up at Mike who looked just as confused about what type of animal a dropbear was as he had joined them. Looking back at Shorty, Steve thought he knew about most of the unique and exotic animals that lived in Australia such as koalas, kangaroos, emus, wombats, kookaburras and the strange platypus but he had never head of an Australian animal called a dropbear. “I have never heard of a dropbear, I guess it must be some sort of bear or something?”

Shorty’s eyes grew wise in surprise as he looked first at Steve, then at Mike, before looking back at Steve again as he said loudly. “Strewth, Mate, are you trying to tell me that neither of you have ever heard of the famous Aussie dropbear?”

Both men shook their heads in unison as several of the other inspectors and officers in the bullpen paused from what they were doing and turned towards the trio, eager themselves to find out just what an Aussie dropbear was.

“Why, an Aussie dropbear is just one of the most dangerous creatures in Australia. Heck, I can’t believe that you have never heard of them.” The tall Aussie shook his head in amazement, as he looked around at his colleagues who were now fully intrigued in his story and shook their heads in a silent answer of no. Turning his attention back to Steve who now looking up at him with a healthy dose of skepticism clearly evident on his face, he continued, “Man, dropbears are more dangerous than a king brown snake, or even a blue-ringed octopus, and they kill and injure hundreds of people each year, mainly tourists who don’t listen to all the warnings to NEVER stand or walk under any trees in Australia.”

“What are they? Some sort of bear that we have never heard of?” Lee asked, curious as he stood up and joined the two men standing next to Steve’s desk.

“I guess you can say that a dropbear is a bigger, more vicious cousin of our cuddly koalas.” The red-haired inspector told Lee before continuing in the now silent bullpen, speaking louder so that everyone who had stopped working and were now listening could hear about this mysterious and dangerous Australian animal. “They have big fangs instead of teeth that when they bite injects a small dose of poison, not enough to kill you, mind you but just enough to make you feel absolutely miserable for a few days. But it’s not the fangs you have to worry about, Mate, no, it’s their bloody large claws, them buggars can rip ya to pieces in a blink of an eye!”

Looking back at Steve, Shorty lowered his voice just a fraction. “And the reason why the sneaky little buggars are called dropbears is because they curl up in the branches of a big old tall gum tree so they look just like a cute, cuddly koala and then they wait until some unexpecting tourist who is a few kangaroos short in the top paddock decides to ignore the locals warnings about dropbears ignored the warnings and decide to stand under a tree and … BAMN!” Shorty slapped Steve on the shoulder, making the younger man, and most of the other men in the room who were listening, to jump, “Them crafty little buggars drop straight down on them. The poor bloody tourist never has a chance! I guess they probably have some long, complicated, scientific name that no one can spell or even pronounce buts that’s why most of us Aussies just call them dropbears.”

“So, you decided to take up a collection for the Aussie bushfire victims?” Mike asked, managing to smother a smile that tugged at his lips due to the Aussie inspector’s explanation about the Australian dropbears as he pulled his wallet from his pocket before opening it and taking out a ten-dollar bill. He hesitated a moment before placing the ten-dollar note back into his wallet and replaced it with a twenty-dollar one and stuffed it into the full jar as Shorty silently nodded his thanks.

“Dropbears, hey?” Steve grinned, not totally convinced that such a creature existed but also aware that considering some of the weird and wonderful Australian animals that did exist, not fully willing to totally dismiss the possibility that they did really exist, as he reached into his own pocket.

“Yeah, dropbears.” Shorty nodded, suddenly looking serious as he jiggled the collection jar in front of Steve’s face, “Damn pesky little creatures but they are one of our Aussie creatures and they need just as much help as all our other wildlife, and all our fireys and everyone one else who are having to deal with this bushfire crisis in Australia.

I know that us Aussies tend to roll our sleeves up, stick together and help each other in times like these but there really isn’t that many of us. Hell, our total population could probably fit into one of your cities, so at the moment, we need all the help that we can get to help us get back up onto our feet. So I guess even though I am here, I am just trying to play my little part in helping, since I can’t be on the ground back home fighting the fires or helping with cleaning up and helping people and our wildlife get back on their feet after this is all over”

Steve nodded silently as he pulled out his wallet and withdrew his own twenty-dollar bill and shoved it into the collection jar his colleague was holding. “This is for the firey’s and the fire victims and for helping the wildlife to recover.” He told Shorty softly as he reached back into his wallet and withdrew another ten-dollar bill and pushed it into the jar as he looked back up at his grateful Aussie colleague and added, “And this is for those dangerous dropbears you just warned us about.”

Shorty grinned and nodded in thanks, “I’m telling ya, Mate, those damn pesky dropbears are dangerous!”

****


End file.
